Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
