So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
