im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
