I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
