tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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