i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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