he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
