I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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