Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
