have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
