U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
tell me about the eggs
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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