hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
