There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just want to make out with him forever
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
