How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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