I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
