So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
