Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
you made out with another girl for some wings
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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