i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
