FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
