i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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