All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
