The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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