If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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