You just made me feel so damn special
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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