Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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