wat bout pragnant strippers??
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
