Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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