Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
