so that wasnt chicken after all
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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