Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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