69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
that's an acceptable place to lick
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
