The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
