peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
