alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize