yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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