She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
