I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
and she was petting her beer can
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
