Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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