problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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