i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
