I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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