I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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