My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you traded sex for a burrito?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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