he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
