I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
