sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
