Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
