so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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