turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
