do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
